Marriage in Pakistan

[TrUsT Of AnGeL]

Marriage in Pakistan:

A Pakistani Marriage (Urdu: ???? , ???? , ???? ,???? ,??? ,??????) is culturally considered as the most standard and stable living form for adults.[citation needed] A marriage is seen not only as a link between man and a woman but it is also considered a union between their parents' families.

Arranged marriages have been an integral part of Pakistani society for years and it is traditional for people to have their marriages planned by their parents and other respected family-members. Arranged matches are made after taking into account factors such as the backgrounds of their families (wealth and social standing). A marriage can also be made within the extended family, such as between cousins.

Marriage process:
Arranged marriages in Pakistan often take much time. From the preparation till the wedding day it may take more than a year. When the wedding date approaches, all close relatives are invited therefore a typical Pakistani wedding requires a considerable budget in order to accommodate them. In some cases, wedding dates are even postponed until the important relatives are able to arrive to the location of the reception from abroad. The wedding customs and celebrations also differ significantly depending on the geographical location as well as the families involved. However, a typical Pakistani wedding has at least three main customs involving the Henna ceremony (Rasme Henna), the vows or the Nikah which is a part of the actual wedding or Shaadi ceremony, and a subsequent Walima offered by the groom's family.

Arranged marriages:
Arranged marriages are still prevalent in Pakistan. Marriages are often arranged within the family or within the same tribe or ethnicity. Social and educational status are very important in arranged matrimonial alliances. It should be noted, that an arranged marriage is not a 'forced' marriage, rather it is an alliance encouraged and arranged by the parents with consent of the couple to be wed. However, love marriages are slowly becoming more common and acceptable in Pakistan.

Proposal party:
This is a reception made in the bride's house, where the groom's parents and family elders formally ask the bride's parents for her hand in marriage. In religious families once the wedding proposal is accepted the families read Surah Al-Fatihah, which is the first surah in the Quran, and then tea and refreshments are served. Depending on individual family tradition, the bride to be may also be presented with an item of jewelry and the guests (family elders) may present the groom with gifts of gold.

[TrUsT Of AnGeL]

Engagement:

An engagement (Urdu: ?????) (Mangni), is a formal ceremony to mark the engagement of the couple. It is usually a small ceremony that takes place in the presence of a few close members of would-be bride's & groom’s families. Rings are exchanged between the would be bride and groom and other items of jewellery amongst affluent families. Traditionally the bride and the groom were not seated together and the rings were placed on the bride's finger by the groom's mother or sister and vice versa. In recent years however, segregated functions have become a rarity and rings are usually exchanged between the couple. Prayer and blessings for the couple are recited and the wedding date is usually decided.

Mayoon:

Mayoon or mayun (Urdu: ?????), is celebrated at the bride's house. Usually the bride's friends and close relatives get together at her house and they dance and sing, often accompanied by drum music. Generally the bride's family give bangles and sometimes clothes to her friends, depending on what the family can afford. The evening also usually includes a henna where the women decorate each others' hands with Henna. The mayoon can last up to late night. The bride usually wears a simple yellow Shalwar Qameez. Traditionally, Mayun meant the custom of the bride entering into the state of seclusion eight to fifteen days before the wedding. She is made free of all the chores and errands during this time. However, since most women work in present times, Mayun has been reduced to a single night celebration of singing, dancing and applying Ubtan to the bride. The bride and groom are not allowed to see each other after the Mayun begins.

The beautification rituals begin during this time, such as the application of Ubtan. Ubtan is a paste made from turmeric, sandalwood powder, herbs and aromatic oils, which groom's mother brings for bride. She blesses bride and applies “ubtan’ to the bride's hands and face. Groom's sister also does the same, and a thick string called a “gana" ( Bangles made of Flowers) is tied to the bride’s arm. “Ubtan” is applied to the bride's skin each day leading up to the wedding. It was supposed to encourage a glowing, fresh complexion for the wedding day.

Dholki:

The Dholki or Dholak (Urdu: ??????) celebration takes its name from the percussion instrument Dholki, which is featured heavily during this wedding celebrations. Traditionally, many days, or even weeks before the actual wedding day, women will gather in the house of the bride to be at night, and sing songs and dance accompanied by percussion instruments, the Dholki being the main one. Today, this ceremony has also been reduced to a single night of sing song and is often combined with Mehndi or Henna ceremony.

Mehndi:

Mehndi (Urdu: ?????) (rasm-e-henna), or the Rasm-e-henna ceremony, typically takes place one or two days prior to the main wedding day. The event is traditionally held separately for the bride and the groom, and henna is symbolically placed on the couple's hands. The groom's friends and family bring along sweets and henna for the bride, and the bride's family does the same for the groom. On the bride's ceremony the groom normally does not participate and similarly, on the groom's event the bride stays at home. Female guests are sometimes offered mehndi at the host's discretion.

Traditionally since there were separate functions for both the bride and the groom, the groom's function was called 'Tael' (oil) where female guests put some oil into the groom's hair. With the ceremony now held simultaneously for both the groom and the bride, the use of the term 'tael' has diminished greatly. In some cases, the entire ceremony is instead referred to as "Tael Mehndi" (Oil and Henna) ceremony.

The bride normally wears a green dress or yellows/oranges for the Henna celebration and uses only light, or mostly, no make-up. The groom will typically wear a casual Shalwar Qameez. The bride and/or the groom are brought forward in the ceremony under a decorative dupatta by their close relatives. In the bridal ceremony, a certain number of married women (seven in most cases) who are closely related to the bride apply henna to her hands, and feed her some sweets. This ritual is supposed to bring good luck and logevity to the bride's married life. Similarly, on the groom's side, oil is applied to his head and sweets are fed to the groom.

One of the most fun part of the Rasme Henna or Mehndi celebrations is the song competition that generally happens between the bride and groom's side. Young women and men will sing teasing songs about the other side (where the bride's side pokes good natured fun at the groom's side and vice versa) and try to compete in this ritual sing song. Even traditionally, elaborate musical and acting performances were part of the Mehndi celebrations. Elaborate dance sequences and competitions between the bride and groom's families are also quite common these days.

Traditionally, the Mehendi was considered a women's event and men did not participate in it mostly. The sing song etc was left almost entirely to women. However, this has changed substantially in recent times with males featuring prominently in the Mehndi celebrations as well. A recent trend that has been gaining popularity is to announce a colour 'theme' for the mehendi whereby guests are supposed to dress up in a particular colour. Favourite mehendi colours are bright reds, oranges and yellows.

Barat:

Barat (Urdu: ????) is the procession of the family, relatives, and friends of the groom and they accompany the groom to the bride’s home for the official wedding ceremony. The groom makes his way to the bride's home on a richly decked horse or car and the “barat” follows in different vehicles. Usually they are also accompanied by a band playing wedding songs. The groom is given a warm welcome by the bride’s family with flower garlands and rose petals thrown upon the procession by the bride's sisters, cousins and friends.

[~Maya~]

zabrdast thanx for nice sharing

[Muzaffar Hussain]

Excellent , its a great to see a marriage ,

kash mere ve shadi ho :D

[TrUsT Of AnGeL]

Nikah:


A bride signing the marriage contract, Nikaah at a Pakistani wedding

Nikah (Urdu: ????) is purely Islamic official wedding ceremony that usually takes place at the bride’s home. Nikah is attended by close family members, relatives, and friends of groom and bride. Usually, the men and women are made to sit separately, in different rooms, or have a purdah (curtain) separating them.

The nikah-naama (marriage contract) is registered during the nikah. The nikah-naama contains several terms and conditions that are to be respected by both parties (bride & groom). It includes bride’s right to divorce her husband. nikah-naama specifies meher, the monetary amount the groom will give the bride. Meher includes two amounts in Pakistani culture, but in Islamic belief is one total amount; one that is due before the marriage is consummated and the other that is a deferred amount given to the bride at a time to be determined. The meher guarantees the bride's freedom within the marriage, and acts as the bride's safety net.

The fathers of groom and bride (walis) act as witnesses to the wedding. If father is not available, the senior male, brother or uncle performs the ceremony. An Islamic imam (called maulana or maulvi in Urdu) reads selected verses from the Quran and waits for the Ijab-e-Qubul (proposal and acceptance) of wedding. Usually, the groom's side makes proposal and the bride's side conveys her assent. Maulvi and witnesses (gavah) take the nikah-naama to the bride and read it aloud to her. She accepts the nikah-naama saying "qabool kiya," ("I accept") and signs it. The nikah-naama is then taken to the groom and read aloud to him. He accepts saying "qabool kiya" and signs the document. The maulvi and witnesses also sign the nikah-naama contract and the wedding becomes legal. The maulvi recites the Fatihah (first chapter of the Quran), and various durud (blessings) to mark the closing of nikah ceremony.

After the wedding is legally announced, dishes of dates and misri (crude sugar) are served to the groom's family. The groom is then escorted to his bride where he's allowed to sit beside his wife.

Wedding:

A Wedding (Urdu: ????) (Shaadi), is the main day of the wedding, where the bride's reception formally takes place. The event takes place at the bride's house, where large wedding tents may be set up in the garden or a nearby place. It has also become very common to hold the event in a marriage hall or hotel. The bride's family is responsible for the reception and arrangements on this day.

The barat or grooms procession indicates the arrival of the groom's family and friends to the bride's house. The barat is often accompanied by the rhythms of a dhol (drum) as it arrives and is greeted with flowers garland and rose petals by the brides family. It is customary for the bride's sisters and friends to stop the barat from entering the arena until a sufficient amount of cash is given to them. This can lead to banter, usually harmless and just for fun, between the bride's sisters and friends on one side and the groom's brothers and friends on the other side.

The bride traditionally wears a red/pink/purple gharara, lehenga or shalwar kameez which is heavily embroidered; other bright colors may also be seen. The dress is always accompanied with heavy gold jewellery. The groom may wear a traditional dress such as sherwani with a sehra or turban though some may prefer to wear a western inspired suit.

The nikah is the Islamic marriage contract ceremony. It either takes place at the Shaadi itself or on a separate day at the bride's house, before the shaadi event.

It is performed by an imam which formally indicates signing of the marriage contract. The bride and groom must both have two witnesses present to ensure that the marriage is consensual.

Dinner In Wedding:

A dinner is served which consists of several dishes with meat featuring heavily in the meal. Some of the well represented dishes in a wedding meal include pullao, biryani , chaanp , chargha , various forms of roasted fowl and lamb, various forms of kebabs, naan, Shirmal, Taftan, Falooda, Kulfi etc .

[Muzaffar Hussain]

ah kia nikah nama change ho gya ha pehle tu double paper se bhi bara hota tha

[TrUsT Of AnGeL]

Rukhsati:

Finally, the Rukhsati takes place, when the groom and his family will leave together with the bride. TheQur'an is normally held over the brides head as she walks from the stage to the exit in order to bless her. This is a somber occasion for the bride's parents as it marks the departure of their daughter from their home. The departure of the bride becomes a very emotional scene as she says farewell to the home of her parents and siblings to start a new married life.

Traditionally, the groom traveled by a decorated horse to the bride's house and after the wedding ceremony took his wife in a doli (palanquin) to his parents' house to live. The horse and the carts have nowadays been replaced by cars, and one will, in sharp contrast to western weddings, typically see a quiet bride with wet eyes as she sits in the car beside her husband leaving for her new home.

Suhaag Raat

Suhaag raat (night of the groom / wedding night) refers to the couples' first night together, and it occurs after the bride has left for the groom's house.

On the day of the wedding, the couples' bedroom is decorated with flowers. It is also customary for roses to be laid across the couples' bed. The groom's female relatives lead the bride to the bedroom and she is left for some time to await the groom's arrival. At this point it is common for the groom to stay with his relatives for a while. The groom may be offered a glass of milk during this time. After the relatives have left, the groom enters the bedroom where the bride is waiting. The bride adjusts the edges of her dupatta such that they cover her face, this is known as 'ghoonghat'. Its customary for the husband to brush the bride's ghoonghat aside to reveal her face, as one of the first things he does on suhaag raat. 'Mun Dikhai', literally meaning 'revealing of the face' is a present that is presented to the bride by her husband on this night. This is generally a piece of jewellery such as a ring or a family ornament. In recent times, it is becoming increasingly common for the bride to present her husband with a present on the first night as well.

Walima:

Walima (Urdu: ?????) is the final day of the wedding held by couple as they host their first dinner as husband and wife. The groom's family invites all of the bride's family and their guests to their home for a feast at their place or a marriage hall. The walima is typically the most festive event of the wedding ceremony and intends to publicize the marriage.

The bride wears a heavily decorated dress with gold jewelry provided by the groom's family. Typical colour palettes are pastel shades. The groom normally opts for a formal Western suit or tuxedo.

The Western equivalent to the walima would be the wedding reception, though walima's are held the day after the shaadi or wedding.

[TrUsT Of AnGeL]

ah kia nikah nama change ho gya ha pehle tu double paper se bhi bara hota tha

Jo BHi Hai Hahahaha

[Muzaffar Hussain]

i think Suhaag Raat ka jo Jora Dekhaya gya ha us ma larke ki mathey par Tikka ha , jo k pakistanis tu nahi lagatey

Waleema mat dekhaye muje bhook lag jaye ge

[TrUsT Of AnGeL]

i think Suhaag Raat ka jo Jora Dekhaya gya ha us ma larke ki mathey par Tikka ha , jo k pakistanis tu nahi lagatey

Waleema mat dekhaye muje bhook lag jaye ge

janabb isme tikka ki baat nahi ho rahi bas pic dekhayi haii ap kuch ka na toh dekhna