mukalima

**Arif Naseem Faizi** · 09-03-2009,05:52 PM

wo boli ishq ki taqdeer men fasl i judai kion
men bola hijr say to dastan i ishq rangeen hay

wo boli kion teri ankhon men ye sehra sa rehta hay
men bola tum kisi din mery sehra par baras jana

wo boli tum ko kia maloom jo mujh par guzarti hay
men bola youn na keh ham aik kishti ky musafirn hen

wo boli rang i qurbat men ye furqat kab talak hamdam
men bola men owr tu ik naddi ky do kinary hen

wo boli khushk ho sakti hay ye behti hui naddi
kaha men nay ke phir pehchan kia hogi kinaron ki

**_Rahi_** · 09-03-2009,11:31 PM

wo boli tum ko kia maloom jo mujh par guzarti hay
men bola youn na keh ham aik kishti ky musafir hen

wah wah wah. Faizi bhai kamal hay. Aur ye ^ tu zaberdast hay.
Youn na keh... wahh

**rukhmah_1** · 09-04-2009,12:32 AM

[QUOTE=Arif Naseem Faizi;

BOHAT KHOOOB FAIZI JI........DAAD HAZIR HAI.....GOD BLESS U........

**Kanch ki Mehroo** · 09-04-2009,03:35 AM

umdah ash'ar kahay aapne.. daad qubool kijiye..

teesray sh'air k misra-e-sani maiN "kay" missing hai.. 4th sh'air ka misra-e-sani aur 5th sh'air ka misra-e-oola behr say kharij haiN.. nazar sani kar lijiye..

khush rahiye

**Abdus Samad Shaikh** · 09-04-2009,06:31 AM

Bahot khub sharing hy ji

dad hazir hy

**Rrahi** · 09-04-2009,06:43 AM

wah, buht acha mujalma ada kia hay ap nay, maza aya parh kar.buht si dad hazir hay.
Mehroo say 2 nukat par muttafiq hoN. lafz "kay"....aor 4th sh'air ka misra-e-sani k behr say khurooj par....nazr e sani kar lein...shukriya.

**ishtiaq zain** · 09-04-2009,02:34 PM

bahot khoob Faizi bhaahi,bahot khoobsurat ashaar haiN,so daad qabool kijiye,
Mehroo ne bilkul sahi nishaandahi ki hai,maiN bhi mutafiq hoon us se,
3rd sheir maiN "kashti KE musaafar" ho ga.
4th sh'air ka misra-e-sani maiN "maiN aor tu" ki wajah se wazn gaR baR ho gaya hai.
aur 5th sh'air ka misra-e-oola maiN ,"nadee" ko "naddee" paRhna paR raha hai,yehni daal par tashdeed ke saath,
ho sakey to aap bhi aek nazar dekh lijiye ga.
bahot khush rahiye,

**Arif Naseem Faizi** · 09-04-2009,05:50 PM

ap sab ahbab ka buhut shukriya

khas kr Rahi, Kanch ki Mehroo or Zain bhai ka
jinhon nay tanqeedi nigah say in ash'ar ko parkha
or khamion ki nishandahi ki

jahan tak teesry she'r ka ta'aluq hay wo to typing mistake hay
ap ki tasHeeh bilkul baja hay ya'ni:

wo boli tum ko kia maloom jo mujh par guzarti hay
men bola youn na keh ham aik kishti ky musafir hen

4th or 5th she'r ager is tarh ho jain to kia khyal hay:

wo boli rang i qurbat men ye furqat kab talak hamdam
men bola jan i jan ham aik darya ky kinary hen

wo boli khushk ho sakta hay ye behta hua darya
kaha men nay ke phir pehchan kia hogi kinaron ki

ager ab bhi is men koi khami hay to ap bila jhajak tasHeeh kejiyga
mujhy khushi hogi

ik baar phir buht shukria